Hallo, this is Dr. Bin Song at Washington College.

While we fallaciously demand perfection, damn people, and awfulize imperfections in our life, our worldviews share some underlying philosophical assumptions, which, without a penetrating philosophical analysis, would be very hard to be exposed and examined. These assumptions include: firstly, we tend to think of life as consisting of discrete problems to solve, rather than of constantly renewing experiences to live. Under this assumption, if one problem does not or cannot get a perfect solution, we would rather take a stand-off, block the flow of life experience, and hence, torment ourselves under the seemingly invincible imperfections which are actually indispensable to human life. Secondly, since we are so ready to reify our life as a mumble-jumbo of sundry problems, we also tend to reify any person or event that is encountered on our life journey. For instance, if one problem has not yet been perfectly resolved, we may damn involved people, including ourselves, as a moron, a dope, a complete failure, to spew whatever words fit our anger and frustration; by the same token, if one bad situation takes place, we may be so terrified by it as to believe it is the worst thing which could ever happen to a human being, and hence, our life has to remain in an ossified state with little vigor to rejuvenate and rebound.

Clearly, these assumptions can be debunked if we take another more dynamic, perfectible and processual mindset. We can say No to these reifying, ossifying, and self-defeating thinking patterns, and instead, we can say Yes to fully accept imperfections as signs to grow and strengthen ourselves, and as gateways to emerging new possibilities of life. However, in order to enjoy this processual way of life, there is another thinking fallacy, which is closely related to all aforementioned ones, which we must see through and overcome. In the practice of psychotherapy, the fallacy is normally called “rumination”; but in the practice of philosophical therapy, we call it “dutiful worry.” In a definition, the fallacy of dutiful worry drives us to:

Think of it as a duty to constantly and multifacetedly upset ourselves or people close to us until a past problem receives a complete remedy or a future problem gets a certain and perfect solution.

In other words, a processual and forward-looking reaction towards problems in our life should be to muster all available resources to tackle the problems; however, while doing so, we neither demand a perfect remedy nor a certain solution. Rather, we see the process of wrestling with these problems as enriching moments of the constantly renewing life possibilities, and thus, we would have reasons not to hold off any moment of it since a problematic life is, after all, still our life which keeps changing, growing and advancing forward regardless.

Nevertheless, a person of dutiful worry does not perceive their life as such. As stated, they see the constant worry until a perfect solution as a duty, and thus, are obsessed with discovering, recollecting, or envisioning all negative possible aspects of their life up to a state of self-pity, self-doubt or sheer misery. In other words, I think a certain degree of worry is necessary to motivate us to resolve problems in our life; however, when remaining to be motivated, our major focus should be to employ our intelligence to think, move our limbs to act, and thus, to dedicate ourselves to solving problems seen as a necessary part of our processual life. However, the fallacy of dutiful worry urges us to worry over whether we have worried enough in order to get a perfect solution of problems. To put it bluntly, this fallacy makes us believe an intensive and repetitive worry is part of the solution; however, in a way completely contrary to the intention, the state of constant worry can undermine the very ability of rational deliberation and resolute action that is needed to solve any problem. In this way, dutiful worry may lead to a vicious cycle of negative moods, which sometimes engenders serious issues of mental health such as depression and anxiety disorder.

For instance, a man may feel a constant guilt of a mistake he made in the past, and ask himself “why I did such a thing” again and again without actually taking any action to objectively analyze the mistake, discover its causes, learn needed lessons, and hence, improve himself. A mother may worry over the underperformance of her son in math so much that no proposed solution by her husband is thought of as certain and adequate, and eventually, she may just never move a single step to either think differently or actually do something to change the situation. Similarly, a person having lived through a certain traumatic experience in their early age may habitually replay those cruel life scenarios again and again in their mind. This would seriously undermine their ability of normal communication and sociality with other people, and eventually undercut the very possibility of living a good human life. Throughout all these instances, we see the spector of “dutiful worry” haunting around, and for the sake of good life, it clearly needs to be rectified.

Therefore, if we see worry as a motivating emotion to find solutions to a problem, the worry over whether we have worried enough is clearly not part of the solution. Understood as such, the habit of dutiful worry is evidently a fallacy; it ties the state of constant worry unrealistically to the perfect solution of problems in our life, and furthermore, assumes that life is a series of problems to solve, rather than an enriching experience to live. To overcome the fallacy, we need philosophies that favor the aforementioned processual view of life, and actually practice them. Here, inspired by the philosophy that I am familiar with, the Ru tradition or Confucianism, I will share some of my experience about how to combat the habit of dutiful worry.

The Classic of Change once depicts the contrast between cosmic creativity and human creativity as such “(The constant creativity of the cosmos) energizes the myriad things, while not sharing a single worry with sages.” Here, since the ultimate creative power of the cosmos is normally not conceived by the Ru tradition as a person, the spontaneously and constantly renewing power is thought of as far surpassing what sages, viz., those most exemplary humans, can accomplish. In other words, just as Confucius once said, “a person who takes no concern about what is distant will surely have worries near at hand,” (Analects, 15.12) the proceeding of cosmic changes is by no means centered upon human interests, and if humans intend to create order within either the society or individual human life, we have to remain concerned while involving ourselves in an endless process of planning, organizing, learning, trying, and re-planning, re-organizing, etc. So, in a more accessible term, this means that humans are not God, and hence, it is just fine for us to worry about all sorts of things once we realize that imperfections are part of human life. However, using another verse, the Ru classic “Centrality and Commonality” also teaches

“In a position of wealth and honor, an exemplary human does what is proper to a position of wealth and honor. In a poor and low position, they do what is proper to a poor and low position. Situated among remote and foreign districts, they do what is proper to a situation among remote and foreign districts. In a position of sorrow and difficulty, they do what is proper to a position of sorrow and difficulty. The exemplary human remains to be content towards themselves in whatever situation they happen to enter.” ( “Centrality and Commonality,” translation adapted from James Legge)

In other words, although worry is ineluctable for the life of an exemplary human who always strives for order, peace and harmony of the society in a non-anthropocentric world, they can always find a state of self-contentedness, a deep and inner feeling of joy in whatever situation they happen to enter. So, how can they achieve this? Why, as indicated by the Ru classics, do humans need to worry over their life and society while simultaneously being able to feel content about themselves?

Firstly, let’s make sure that we are worrying over the right things. In other words, our worries cannot be so selfish as to be only concerned with the narrow interest of us or a certain group of people. If we think and behave thus selfishly, we could not find a synergy among all the surrounding human and cosmic beings whenever we need to muster resources to tackle our worries, and quite often, we would just pit ourselves against obstacles so as to enhance, rather than alleviate our worries. For instance, for the mother who constantly worries over the success of her son, a Ruist scholar would recommend that there are kids in other families who may share the same problems as well. Also, there are good cases to investigate why if not good at a certain subject, children can still flourish their life in the long run. So, rather than constantly worrying over the success of one’s own kid, why not worry about how to participate or organize a social process to deal with shared issues in various families? Once we see the problem of our life in the broader context of the society, then, the worry over it will be transformed into a motive to reform the society, and hence, generate very positive mental feedback for each worrying individual. In a Confucian term, this thinking process is described as “if you want to establish yourself, also establish the others.” (Analects 6:30)

Secondly, not only do we need to worry over the right thing, we also need to worry in the right way. Clearly, the worry over whether we can worry enough so as to demand a certain and perfect solution to a problem is not the right way of worrying given our previous analysis. In the terms of the Great Learning, the worry over their individual life, family, and the society motivates an exemplary human to investigate all “pattern-principles” (理) that dynamically and harmoniously fit things together in a particular situation, firm their heartmind (心) to execute what is required by the pattern-principle, and eventually, try their best to realize harmony in evolving situations. For instance, the mother in question needs to try best to obtain all necessary knowledge about how to deal with her son’s academic underperformance, and then, actually practice these knowledge so as to move the entire situation forward, rather than constantly upsetting herself without action. In other words, in order to worry in the right way, we need a forward-looking mindset to learn, grow and act, just as what the aforementioned processual attitude of life entails.

At this moment, it is very important to introduce one crucial feature of the Ru philosophy that can help to eliminate the self-defeating thinking habit of constant and dutiful worry. As analyzed in the previous unit, Mencius thinks every ordinary human will have a spontaneous feeling of alarm and fright when seeing a baby about to fall into a well, and for Mencius, this is the evidence for that there is a part of human nature which is innately good. However, when addressing the question that since human nature is good, why so many bad things are committed by humans, Mencius thinks that this is like asking why a once verdant mountain can one day become barren. Mencius explains further that if you continue to use axes and hatchets to destroy every sprout of plants naturally growing in the mountain, no matter how good the quality of soil is, the mountain still would not provide. (Mencius 6A) By the same token, as long as one has a good sleep during a night, in the morning, they will naturally feel a clearer mind and a more sensitive heart to connect to beings in the world. In this case, people will be easier to feel their sympathy and co-existence with the world so that their innately good human nature is well kept.

Understood in this way, the process of personal growth for Mencius would be similar to the industry of farming, by which a farmer plows the field, sows the seeds, and grows the sprouts according to their best knowledge of seasons, lands and other factors in agriculture. However, after every due human effort is implemented, it would be up to the nature to take charge of everything else. Similarly, when problems arise in our life, on the one hand, we indeed need to worry appropriately so as to investigate, plan and act, viz., do everything that we can as a human to confront the problems; however, on the other hand, even if no perfect solution can be found to these problems, let’s not forget to have a good sleep, take a nice walk, have a sincere conversation with our family and close friends, or do other positive things to continually nurture our inborn vital energy that was endowed by the nature. In the eyes of a Ru scholar, days come after nights; the sun rises following its setting; and the four seasons just change and renew themselves without any cease on this planet. Therefore, as long as we remain connected to the entire cosmos, know how to nurture the life-generating cosmic energy innate to our body, and try best to fulfill our potential to be a fully human, we would never lack a foundation to eventually live through a certain situation, move forward, and remain content towards ourselves. For me, no matter how stressful and tiring a life situation may be, I still hold a faith towards the fact that even with just a short nap, I can breathe in the fresh air-energy deeply and thoroughly into the depth of my heart. When opening my eyes, there would be new energy there, and I can still try my best to do the right thing in whatever situation I happen to enter.

So, even if worry is inevitable for human life, let’s sleep well, take care of ourselves, and worry over the right things in the right way. As a result, we would remain content to ourselves in every new situation of life experience we are about to savor.