Texts and Translations: (please refer to Ctext.org; translations are adapted by me)

昔者莊周夢為胡蝶，栩栩然胡蝶也，自喻適志與！不知周也。俄然覺，則蘧蘧然周也。不知周之夢為胡蝶與，胡蝶之夢為周與？周與胡蝶，則必有分矣。此之謂物化。(《齊物論》內篇)

Formerly, Zhuang Zhou dreamt that Zhou was a butterfly, a butterfly flying about, feeling that it was enjoying itself. Zhou did not know that it was Zhou. Suddenly Zhou awoke, and was Zhou again. Zhou did not know whether it had formerly been Zhou dreaming that he was a butterfly, or it was now a butterfly dreaming that it was Zhou. But between Zhou and a butterfly there must be a difference. This is a case of what is called the Transformation of Things. (Qi Wu Lun)

莊子將死，弟子欲厚葬之。莊子曰：「吾以天地為棺槨，以日月為連璧，星辰為珠璣，萬物為齎送。吾葬具豈不備邪？何以加此！」弟子曰：「吾恐烏鳶之食夫子也。」莊子曰：「在上為烏鳶食，在下為螻蟻食，奪彼與此，何其偏也！」(《列禦寇》雜篇）

When Zhuangzi was about to die, his disciples signified their wish to give him a grand burial. ‘I shall have heaven and earth,’ said he, ‘for my coffin and its shell; the sun and moon for my two round symbols of jade; the stars and constellations for my pearls and jewels; and all things assisting as the mourners. Will not the provisions for my burial be complete? What could you add to them?’ The disciples replied, ‘We are afraid that the crows and kites will eat our master.’ Zhuangzi rejoined, ‘Above, the crows and kites will eat me; below, the mole-crickets and ants will eat me: to take from those and give to these would only show your partiality.’ (Lie Yu Kou)

莊子妻死，惠子弔之，莊子則方箕踞鼓盆而歌。惠子曰：「與人居長子，老身死，不哭亦足矣，又鼓盆而歌，不亦甚乎！」莊子曰：「不然。是其始死也，我獨何能無概然！察其始而本無生，非徒無生也，而本無形，非徒無形也，而本無氣。雜乎芒芴之間，變而有氣，氣變而有形，形變而有生，今又變而之死，是相與為春秋冬夏四時行也。人且偃然寢於巨室，而我噭噭然隨而哭之，自以為不通乎命，故止也。」(《至樂》外篇）

When Zhuangzi’s wife died, Huizi went to condole with him, and, finding him squatted on the ground, drumming on the basin, and singing, said to him, ‘When a wife has lived with her husband, and brought up children, and then dies in her old age, not to wail for her is enough. When you go on to drum on this basin and sing, is it not an excessive (and strange) demonstration?’ Zhuangzi replied, ‘It is not so. When she first died, was it possible for me to be singular and not affected by the event? But I reflected on the commencement of her being.There was once a time when she had not yet been born to life; not only had she no life, but she had no bodily form; not only had she no bodily form, but she had no vital-energy. During the intermingling of the undifferentiated and dark chaos, there ensued a change, and there was vital-energy; another change, and there was the bodily form; another change, and there came birth and life. There is now a change again, and she is dead. The relation between these things is like the procession of the four seasons from spring to autumn, from winter to summer. There now she lies with her face up, sleeping in the Great Chamber; and if I were to fall sobbing and going on to wall for her, I should think that I did not understand what was destined (for all). I therefore restrained myself!’ (Zhi Le)

Commentary by Bin Song

In a Daoist view, nothing needs to be particularly proud of about being a human. Humans are just an equal part to all other beings in the all-encompassing natural process of cosmic changes and transformations. The process of life to death of a human individual is just similar to the one from dreaming to waking-up. It is an example of how things transform. Although there are differences between these two transitioned states, neither of them needs to be prioritized. Therefore, why do we need to organize grandiose rituals to mourn our teacher’s death? Why do we need to wail over our wife’s death? Their deaths are also mere examples about how things transform in nature. Instead, we should be happy over the passing-away of our most intimate human fellows, since this is the occasion when they come back to the Dao, and hence, enjoy their pre-destined dwelling places.

Nothing is more further away from this Daoist attitude towards death than Ruism (Confucianism). In the texts of Confucius, Mencius and Xunzi, which are largely contemporaneous with the Zhuangzi, we find ample elaborations on why humans need to perform mourning rituals when our intimate family members die. Some prominent reasons are listed, but not limited to the following:

(1) Ritual performance is a “sincere,” and thus, natural expression of our grieving feeling.

(2) Rituals also refine these feelings so that the deaths become bearable.

(3) People who are still alive will expect that their children and grandchildren can also treat them well in an ancestor ritual as long as they are dedicated to nourishing the good life of their descendants. Hence, these mourning rituals furnish a motivation for living humans to live their good human life.

So, the critique made by the video to Confucian mourning rituals is indeed ungrounded: Confucius and later Ru scholars rarely, if not never, advocate “firm obedience of the younger to the older generation.” This is because 1) as stated above, rituals furnish rationales for living elder people (who will become ancestors in time) to be nourishing and moral towards the younger, and 2) “remonstration” against one’s wrong-doing parents and ancestors is championed as a necessary component of the virtue of “filiality.” More importantly, regarding the “sincere” expression of people’s mourning feeling, one great Ru scholar, Wang Yangming, in 15th century even said that only if we grieve to the utmost and appropriate measure, we can be very happy deep in our heart. In other words, to be happy about his wife’s death, one does not need to drum a basin and sing a song just like Zhuangzi did. From a Ruist perspective, he just needs to conduct a ritual and mourn sincerely so as to be joyful and content in the depth of his heart.

So, in a word, from a Ruist perspective, it is good to envision human death as constituting a natural process of cosmic changes and transformations. However, it is also natural for human beings to organize rituals to mourn our human fellows’ death.

After all, before sleeping, I routinely kiss and say good night to my wife lying in the same bed, despite the fact that I may feel quite at ease when I dream myself to be a fluttering butterfly in a few hours.